The Function of the Orgasm

People on trains stare at you when you read a book titled 'The Function of the Orgasm' or they try to co-read the book looking over your shoulder, which I don't mind at all. The person sitting next to me on my way to uni today just leaned over and read, the woman opposite blatantly stared at me every time I looked up from my read. Hence, I felt like another blog entry on sex is apposite.

A good 60 years after the first publication of Wilhelm Reich's book in English I cannot help but wonder if the attitude towards sex, pleasure and the marvellous experience of orgasms in society has changed  all that much since Reich and his contemporaries explored this vast topic? Asking how and why we manage to perpetuate a conservative, life-fearing attitude towards sexuality from generation to generation is a crucial question worth thinking about.

Although I do not see eye to eye with Reich on what 'natural sexuality' entails I agree that suppressed, innate sexual drive is the root of many of our societal and personal problems, frustrations and neurosis. The image of sex we have created in society inhibits too many of us, myself included, from accessing a powerful energy and great source of happiness lying idle in each and everyone of us. Although I am working on tidying up my believe systems and patterns towards everything pleasurable! It is fun and I can highly recommend it.

Yet one has to be prepared to look deep and meet all sorts of animals along the path towards sexual liberation. I believe in the principal of 'as within so without, as above so below', which provides many starting points for such a journey of exploration. I refrain from judging while uncovering all aspects of my sexuality, looking towards the sky to reach the divine; delving deep into the warmth of mother earth to reconnect with nature as well as natural desires. I revisit hidden places inside seeing the 'anima' and embracing it whilst observing what manifests externally in my life as I am doing so, embracing all the learning dished up to me by life (or all that I create subconsciously that ends up in my life once I am ready to face it).

If we accept that 70% of our life takes place subconsciously is is not time to make an effort and reach that part of ours? There are plenty of ways to do so but without accessing this wealth of knowledge, power and source of peace we can find in facing the truth of ourselves, we will always remain restricted by the "behest of authoritarian, mechanised society" (Reich, reprint 1999:198).

Once again I remember the beautiful connection Pedro Pablo and his wife had with nature and how much they respected the natural rhythms of life that we in Western communities have forgotten to feel. Paraphrasing Hellinger we would be well advised to follow the wisdom of our flesh as the mind is so very limited in its departmentalised view of our complex and interconnected world. Once we begin to sense, feel and see (not with our eyes but we our heart) our world in tune with what is, we stand a much better chance of actually having a good time here on this plain.

I honour the opportunities of feeling both the dark and the light in our way of living, yet I crave the emerging feminine energies resembling the new, emerging vibration on earth, so we can free ourselves from the patriarchal chains of the systems we have put in place. The suffering through suppressed emotions, sex and creativity needs to come to an end. If we arrogant, neurotic and anxious grouches (said with a whole lot of love of course and a smile on my face) could be bothered to look towards native tribes we could find living examples of healthier communities, sustainable living and honest, deep, raw sexual connections.

No wonder every so often I feel the urge of escaping this madness we have turned our lives into to a haven of peace, laying it all bare and savouring the sensation of oneness. Being in the haven of the heart is truly a wonderful physical, mental, spiritual and emotional place, worth encountering your daemons for and tidying up your metaphorical closet!

Your Urban Yogi,
engrossed in my current read

Things I should not have seen...

I am sitting here bemused by life's ways of offering lessons in the everyday: a picture on fb; a conversation overheard; a passage of a book; or simply, a gaze met. In those moments I feel the utmost connection with life, with everything. I love it when things come together in a peculiar fashion and it just all makes sense (at least to me).
 
Trying to piece together quite how such a moment comes about is near impossible and maybe I should refrain from trying to do so, but I would like to somehow highlight the strings of the puppeteer called life, that I occasionally manage to see. I had the 'aha' moment when overhearing a statement a fellow student made regarding nudity on TV - do not ask why we ended up at this topic! It was a strong statement about naked bodies shown TV, made with conviction: "I saw things I should not have seen as a child, things that are private."
 
I've always felt that in our society we have got an intensely weird relationship with the human body and what we are capable of experiencing with it. The fact, that we associate nudity with filth is sad and that we ban love-making behind closed doors is even sadder. A few weeks back a friend recommended a book by Wilhelm Reich titled "The Function of the Orgasm" which I am currently picking at. The mind blowing work of my countryman ties in just perfectly with the comment of my acquaintance, who, by the way, I absolutely understand in her disgust with what we can see on late night TV.

Reich, who was way ahead of his times, argues that a healthy, autonomous person ought to fulfil his/her natural rights - e.g. follow her body's instincts. A passage that I find particularly enlightening is this one:

"People have lost their feeling for natural sexual life. Their assessment is based on a distortion, which they rightly condemn. Hence, to fight for or against sexuality is futile and hopeless. On the basis of such distortions, the moralist can, must, and should win out. The distortion cannot be tolerated. The modern woman is repelled by the sexuality of men who get their experience in brothels and acquire a revulsion towards sex from prostitutes. "Fucking" is a defilement. No sensitive woman wants "to let herself be fucked" ...

When I speak of sex, I do not mean "fucking", but the embrace promoted by genuine love; not "urinating into the woman", but "making her happy". No headway can be made unless a distinction is drawn between the unnatural practises in sexual life, practises that have developed on a secondary level and the deeply buried needs for love which are present in every person." (p188-89)
 
To add to the connections I made in the moment I heard her statement, I remembered a fb post I stumbled across the previous night. A Mexican friend of mine posted an incredibly rich picture with writing in Spanish that I would not normally translate, but that night I felt like it (and I added the original text at the end). The Google translation might not be adequate but one gets the gist.

TAO

- Master, what do you need a man to court and make a woman happy?
- Nothing, replied the Guru. Just dare to be what it is ...
- I do not understand, said the student.

- Love is a beautiful opportunity to live without masks, said the Master. The man and woman are afraid of love, because they fear to live naked ... Do not undress just to make love, the Master said softly.

When you live naked inspire others to live without fear, and so my dear friend, you're making love all day ...

Diego E.


Lastly I also had my daily dose of IGing that topped off the opportunities presented by life to 'get the message'. I do not feel the need to add an A4 page of metaphors to this already full blog entry but just this little passage makes me feel like I am somehow been led to this trough and I better drink :)

 

48 - The Well.

Deep Waters penetrated and drawn to the surface: The superior person refreshes the people with constant encouragement to help one another.

There is a Source common to us all. Jung named it the Collective Unconscious. Others hail it as God within. Inside each of us are dreamlike symbols and archetypes, emotions and instincts that we share with every other human being. When we feel a lonely separateness from others, it is not because this Well within has dried up, but because we have lost the means to reach its waters. You need to reclaim the tools necessary to penetrate to the depths of your fellows. Then the bonds you build will be as timeless and inexhaustible as the Well that nourishes them.

It might not be obvious to see the red thread running through this but I sense this is a time to heal our relationships with our bodies and the way we experience our sexuality individually and also as a society.

Your grateful
Urban Yogi


ps: the original fb post:

TAO

- Maestro, ¿qué necesita un hombre para cortejar y hacer feliz a una mujer?
- Nada, respondió el Guru. Solo animarse a ser lo que es...
- No entiendo, dijo el alumno.
- Amar es una hermosa oportunidad para vivir sin máscaras, dijo el Maestro. El hombre y la mujer le temen al amor, porque temen vivir desnudos...
No hay que desnudarse solo para hacer el amor, dijo suavemente el Maestro.
Cuando vives desnudo inspiras a otros a vivir sin miedos, y así mi querido amigo, estás haciendo todo el día el amor...
Diego E.

All things come to an end.

What inspired this entry is the joy of a mum, learning that her son's steady decline over the past year could in fact be stopped, or at least treated. This news has planted a new seed of hope in her. It made me wonder though how much hope is frankly born by fear of the unknown, the unwanted or simply the inevitable. One hopes things might be better, because we don't like the status quo, or because we want something to look forward to.

Quite rightly, who am I to tell a mum not to worry about her terminally ill child? He was never expected to live to 10 but was deemed 'lucky' to make it to 4. That wee man did well to more than double his life expectancy and proof everyone wrong. I salute him for hanging in there and being stubborn!

Yet, why worry? Why can't we celebrate him being here, him having yet another chance to feel the dull, grey English summer or smile in delight when cuddled by a dear one? Why waste time and energy worrying about the end, hoping for more time spent together? The end is certain.

All things come to an end. What if we could accept the innate expiration date of things and that we are just blatantly helpless in our hope for stretching our life spans. We can do our best to make days - or in his case his body - work for a while longer; ultimately though life has it's own cycles and there are new beginnings that come buried in all the bitter ends we encounter. Yes, we can mourn those endings - if it helps to let go. But what good is worrying about what is one certainty in life? Let's forget about hope and be honest with ourselves in that things - good&bad - will end; or rather change.

In my view, we lose time for living while worrying about things that pass us, when really only frequencies change. Energy does not disappear but it transforms. My IGing reading of today told me that a rebirth is coming. While I am excited about this rebirth business I am aware that it brings "ends" with it and the transformation in itself will end. I have no idea about time scales here but I accept that life plays you cards you don't expect, may no even want. The question is can you accept the challenge and make the best of the hand you've been dealt.

I do.

Fearless and Open,
Your Urban Yogi

ps: Part of the IGing reading:

24 - Twenty-Four
Fu / Return
You have passed this way before but you are not regressing.
This is progress, for the cycle now repeats itself, and this time you are aware that it truly is a cycle.
The return of old familiars is welcome. You can be as sure of this cycle as you are that seven days bring the start of a new week.Use this dormancy phase to plan which direction you will grow.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

You are about to experience a rebirth -- about to be given another chance, a new lease on life.
You have persevered, gone the distance through an entire cycle -- through the Spring of hope or new passion, through a Summer of growth and building, only to be sacrificed like the archetypal Harvest King at the Autumn reaping. You lie dormant like seed beneath Winter snows now, healing and absorbing new energies in preparation for the new young Spring coming shortly to your life.

March*April*May Update

I lay low for a while, primarily because I had forgotten my password and was way too busy to bother retrieving it. Secondly, and probably more tellingly, I did not feel like sharing any more of my hectic life until I have reached a place within myself where I felt content and able to string straight(ish) chains of thoughts together again.

And, here I am - happy and content, though still mega busy. I owe you an update on my 'wee' experience. I can say that for me it worked! My skin is not perfect, but in combination with using only paraben and sulfate free skin care products I have not had a major outbreak in a couple of months (unless I touched garlic - DAH!). Introducing more raw food enhanced my energy levels too and turning 30 tasted fantastically yummy! Celebrating at NAMA (www.namafoods.com) was divine - best birthday cake EVER!

Aside form such 'trivial' pursuits as clearing up my skin I accepted a conditional offer for a PGCE place, meaning I will be doing my teacher training this autumn, providing I fulfil set conditions. Those are:

- passing a Literacy & Maths skills test (dull, but I see why one might need to do this)

- doing Maths & Literacy GCSE's (I obtained 2 degrees, both of which I read in English and I got A-level Maths & English in the bag, yet I am required to get GCSE grad C in those subjects)

- [best of all] learn French (from scratch)

Now, I can deal with Maths & English, in spite of being close to dying of ennui. However, facing my dislike of everything French was a bigger challenge. My aversion to France & The French is utterly irrational (ignoring the few family related issues with this country). So I decided this is in fact THE time to ditch another useless conviction and overcome my 'phobia'.

After all, I eradicated my paralysing fear of hospitality and ended up exploring various parts of this sector (successfully). Next, I tackled my apprehensions regarding disability by meeting a dazzling array of wonderful and warm children and young adults living with diverse forms of disabilities - and I thoroughly enjoyed my learning curve. Thus far, my encounter with 'French' has been invigorating, frustrating at times but 100% what the doctor ordered! Looking at my track record in overcoming obstacles, France & I might be heading towards a 'love affair'... I even got a blog 'en français':
lapetiteprincesse2013.blogspot.com/

I cannot, at this point, say if becoming a teacher is really right for me, although my soul path has apparently got neon signs stating "Natural Born Teacher", but that remains yet to be seen. Though I feel very stretched, yearning for more hours in a day, approaching this madness from my heart somehow puts me in an OK place.

A tiny step closer to actually embodying an Urban Yogi.
Yours truly!