Cleansing using my own, home made wee (urine that is)...

Here I am sitting having just received my first order of sls free hair products. I also recovered some snippets on making your own cleaning products. But to round off my efforts to cleansing myself I started to rub my own urine all over me after having a shower using my sls free, all natural body wash by Burts Bees to smell nice (at least before applying the golden substance!).

I want to clarify, I was never really paranoid about living a healthy life style. I enjoyed eating meat, chocolate was a 'cannot live without' treat on a regular basis and 'sls' did not mean a thing to me. (Sodium Lauryl Sulfate is what I am referring to and it is in most shampoos and body washes - if u want to know more read http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2010/07/13/sodium-lauryl-sulfate.aspx).

That all changed in the past two months since being back from Mexico. I have been so sick during my holiday and ever since returning back to the UK that I feel my body is SHOUTING at me very loudly and in an utterly convincing fashion that I just cannot ignore any longer.

First I threw out my fluoride filled tooth paste remembering the days in kindergarten when they fed it to us in tablet form to make us resilient against the radio activity floating about post the Chernobyl disaster. Fluoride I have learnt (http://www.fluoridealert.org/articles/50-reasons/) is not good for us and not necessary to keep our teeth clean, so I chucked it out.

Other symptoms of me not feeling great are tiredness, bloating, diarrhoea, vomiting, colds, ulcers and the latest blocked sinuses. I am fed up with this and want to feel better so I decided to listen to my body and as a second step become a vegetarian and do a liver cleanse. Next I will make my own cleaning product and refrain from buying any man-made material used for clothing as I get a headache from wearing such items.

But for some reason the grossest thing I decided to do is probably the urine therapy. I admit freaking out about the potential smell of using urine for therapeutic reasons, as I really do not wish to become an outcast. All the other things are weird enough to freak out many of the people I know, including my spouse, but this feels like a last resort worth trying.

Sadly I have lost my belief in school medicine and in particular doctors as all they do - in this country at least - is to prescribe antibiotics or ask if I am pregnant. Whenever I consulted with them in the past I was left on my own. Hence I came to the conclusion to listen to my body and do what I know I can do to make living in a highly polluted city more bearable.

I shall let you know how it goes... and please let me know if I do smell weird! ;)

By the way, the 1 minute exercise I did to interrupt old behaviours did not work very well for me as I zoned out and somehow 'forgot' about it every time I did engage in the old behaviour - fooling yourself 101 worked perfectly!

Much love, light and freshness,
Your Urban Yogi

Aged 1, playing in the garden - with water, not wee!

The girl who died on the playground

The girl who died on the playground was the result of a tragic accident on the school playground. She did nothing particularly dangerous other than playing amongst children. Then she got knocked over onto a wooden railing that no health & safety officer could have faulted for being lethal or ominous. It was under such ordinary, non threatening circumstances that a little girl fell in an unfortunate way so that she injured herself in a way that was irreparable.

The girl who died on the playground moved me when I saw her a week earlier doing Flamenco dancing during Spanish week. She appeared old for her age, controlled and completely engrossed in what she was doing. I dare to say she was the best out of the bunch of 4 girls dancing, the others glancing at her for rhythm and choreography. In her purple and red dress she exhibited so much potential, joy and liveliness that she brought a smile to my face.

The girl who died on the playground did not really die on the playground though - she died in operating theatre as I found out that very morning I got to school unassumingly. 'Something bad happened' the year teacher of the class I am in told me, instructing me to close the door as I entred the class. I was in shock. Such things do not happen in real life, do they? Luckily I do not have to deal with death all to frequently, so when I heard such devastating news I could not believe what I was told. A little life, that had been only a week earlier so pulsing and promising had been wiped out while playing in this very playground I was looking at.

The girl who died on the playground made me ask the question 'Why?'. I believe souls decide when to go, when their reason for being on this earth is fulfilled. It is hard to see how such a young girl had chosen such a short road, when she was brimming with potential, joy and liveliness. All staff were deeply sad and in disbelief about this loss of a young life. Despite knowing we continue on in another form, another plain, she touched me with her early departure, made me feel the worth of life again in the sadness I felt for her leaving.

The girl who died on the playground will stay in my memory for she has helped me to wake up to life again and honour it as something precious we only have for a short time. Her death should not to be completely in vain, thus I made a promise to myself to hold this realisation she gifted me close to my heart. For the first time in a very long time I am utterly connected to life - sadly in the shadow of the girl who died on the playground.

Rest in peace young, lovely soul!

Your Urban Yogi

 

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Rotten Belief Pattern #111 - I need Light and Dark in my life. Bullshit!

Bullshit indeed.

Somehow in our mind we have accepted that we have to experience highs and lows, that this is part of the rhythm of our lives. In my case I am convinced that without the downs I could not appreciate the ups. I believed that for a blimming long time - until this last holiday. I had a revelation back then but it finally clicked today. Hence this post. It also follows me watching the film 'Am Anfang war das Licht' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s36JoehC0Os challenging common belief patterns and reminding me of the power of our mind!

First, a few words on how polarity (dark/light; up/down etc) shows in my life. Overall I have a good life, with a fair share of challenges to overcome but also with a great wealth of resources to deal with them. I would say that there were always a few tough years followed by a few good ones (according to this logic I will have at least 4 'easy' ones ahead!). Now, what would I be doing in life if I did not have those challenges (that arguably lead to growth but are a pain in the bum when they occur) to overcome? Lead a happy life? Maybe.

'B.U.T!' I hear my inner ego screaming, 'life is not that straightforward!' ... I truly wonder what life would be like if there was no polarity, if there were no motivations to pursue other than 'just' followed my inner truth? What if my husband not 'getting' my dilemmas was not an issue? What if being a size 16 would not be scary? What if not having commercial success did not matter? What would humanity do with all that spare time not spent worrying??? Could we be happy without having fear counterbalancing our joy?

At some point I began to belief that it is normal to feel up and then down again. The majority of us right now put a judgements on events/facts and have feelings according to those judgements - eg gaining weight and being a size 16 is bad and being skinny desirable (although a Nigerian friend recently tried desperately to put on some weight and finally be a bigger size to be deemed beautiful for her wedding taking place in Nigeria!).

Take an argument for example. This can be a classic example of something commonly acknowledged to be 'bad'/undesirable/disharmonious. Yet in one case I noticed that I stepped back form the judgement and listened to what was important about this argument. The situation was that while being invited for dinner at a friends' place my husband and I were going over an old (and by now dull & boring) argument I have had many times with him. I realised that we had upset the friend hosting the evening because of the disagreement. Harmony = good; Disagreement = bad. However, it came to me that all that was said in that context came from a basis of ego - the mind - and might have been useful to come out at this point, for learning. Yet this polarity, the judgement we put on things create a reality that is toxic. It is a reality where we need to control and cannot accept what is.

I am not saying I am above this polarity thinking but in this instance I removed myself from it by listening to my heart - and it did not matter that we argued and what my ego was upset about. I DID NOT BEAT MYSELF UP OR FELT FEARFUL. It does not matter that in our relationship the scales do not always levelled out - either the 'good' or the 'bad' side dominates. What matters is that in my heart I know we are meant to be together for this learning experience and luckily my emotional, spiritual and physical body are wiser than my weak and beaten ego that starts the odd fight. In my heart I trust.

So when I heard Adam Ant on the Johnathan Ross Show tonight saying that his bipolar syndrome has to do with him being a creative one, who need the light and the dark for inspiration I might say 'Bullshit!' - we do not need it but we chose it because it is more melodramatic and lends itself to great artwork. We love our lows too! However, I could lead much happier life (and I guess much other arty types too) if we lived in our hearts more, sensing that up and down do not matter all that much but how we take them is curcial. This way our egos and judgements have not that much weight - which is good to remember next time I am about to hurt a dear one again!

With another rotten belief pattern uncovered,
Your Urban Yogi

 

Above in the pic you can see the bear and the beater - synonomous for spring (bear/good) and winter (beater/bad); the beater is defeated by the bear in the end and leads to big celebrations... but without either one of them the spectacle would not even take place! :)