On giving up food to live off prana

In the last post I made it quite clear I am fed up of feeling tired and miserable. Much of me not feeling well has to do with food and what my body seems to 'like' and 'dislike'. Garlic for example gives me the most hideous headaches, followed a couple days later by itchy pimpls around my jawline. YUCK! Refined sugar (I LOVE CHOCOLATE) results in fatigue and pair this with wheat and I am in 'La La Land', quite zoned out and not able to focus, usually leading to some stomach pain, feeling sickly and generally not doing great.

Now, I am not 'strong' enough to resist the temptation of 'nice' tasting food and every now and then I give into my urges to stuff my face. This is when I know what I am bargaining with and I have gotten over beating myself up for it - YEY! The times when it does bug me that I react to some foods in this way is when I have forgotten or not realised that there was such an ingredent in my meal. Take sushi for example; I ate 'healthyly' and completely blanked on the fact that soy sauce has wheat in it. It took a while for me to register that THAT was the reason for me feeling rubbish again.

One thing I have been doing is to 'STOP' for 1 minute before eating 'no-go-foods' and redirect my energy towards a desirable image I have of me doing what I love, floating in rays of colour and joy (sounds pretty hippy but feels amazing!). I struggled with this exercise though as it brought up all my anger I ever felt towards food, inept perceptions of my self and my body. 'Do not try this at home!' (or unsupervised) is my warning for this simple exercise as it is super powerful and I needed much assistance from Catherine Shainberg to deal with the anger that came up. I did a good job and am back on the 1 minute exercise as from today. See how 'Take 2' goes.

On the other hand I have been thinking about a friend from my Mexico journey who talked about living off prana and giving up food altogether. I am intrigued by the idea. I heard about the idea a while ago and thought I 'LOVE' food too much to not have food anymore as part of my daily life, leave it till I feel ready for it, thinking that day would NEVER come. However, I ordered a book called 'The Food of Gods' which arrived yesterday, talking about the preparation needed to get to living off divine nutrition and the pitfalls. Funny enough I also received an email from that friend the same day as I got the book, sharing his experience of going 'off' food and only occasionally drinking some water now. It is amazing. He is practising yoga, going for hikes and feels - after a period of no energy - absolutely fine now. It sounds liberating and just unbelievable.

Save to say I am nowhere near becoming a Breatharian (http://breatharian.info/) but I am slowly getting fed up hearing my body over and over again screaming at my food choices. Although it will scare my husband and probably freak out most of the people I know I consider embarking on the slow road to giving up food by starting to give up meat and visiting my friends raw food restaurant (http://www.facebook.com/Nama.Artisan.Raw.Foods?group_id=0) to see what that lifestyle is all about.

Who knows, 2013 might be the year I give up food all together and start living off pranic energy... but not just yet! ;)

With a bowl of greek yoghurt and oats in my belly,
Your Urban Yogi

...BUT I want it the easy way, and I want it right NOW!

This has been a hard week of struggles - with January fatigue, with tricky decisions, with headaches, with old patterns that I desperately want to resolve and missing my heart family; A LOT.

Apparently it is through struggle that we grow and change. Struggle seems to be essential in reaching a higher state of consciousness... BUT I want it the easy way! And more importantly I want it NOW. I am truly fed up feeling that I am bloated, tired, agitated and miserable. What the heck is going on? I hear from a dear heart friend she has been knocked out for the past couple weeks, people around me are sick and I had a stomach bug twice in a month.

'It is not fair' to borrow the line a boy I am working with said in tears because he did not get a merit (a silver star sticker!) for his work. I want a star sticker too! I want to simply KNOW what to do and not have to go through this 'struggle' business, PLEASE? Yes, I am moaning. No, I do not feel like an Urban Yogi after this week. The only time of the day I am feeling good is when I am sleeping and meet all the friendly people I miss in my life in my dreams. Aaaahhh... it is such a lovely feeling slowly waking up and still being in the half-awake state of being before the material world hits me.

It is my own fault though. I signed up for more Imagery sessions and those sessions really have it in them. It was an EASY exercise we were meant to do as homework last week. Stop and think 1 minute before you do XYZ (you decide what it is!)... then you do a quick imaging exercise to redirect the energy generated and use it productively. Damn it. That lil homework was a b*****. Even 'easy' was not 'easy' but had a real punch hidden inside. It triggered some rather old and dusty patterns I do not 'utilise' all that often but if I do it results in me feeling crap... It was time to take that punch - for growth and transformation and GLORY (which the tarot cards kind of said that I picked a minute ago!)

Luckily the long-term outcome according to the tarot is bliss. The immediate future not so much. The card tells me about a little more struggle but promises that it ends in triumph. So all I can do is to keep going I guess and hope for some more 'pleasant' learning experiences in later 2013.


Yawn and off to bed,
Your deflated Urban Yogi

 on a better day.

Sophie, the star princess... (or the other kind of beautiful)

Sophie
the star princess
(or the other kind of beautiful)

In a land where days were something unknown,
people lived during long lasting dark.
A king and his queen ruled the land guided by stars
which kindly lent their light and spark.

One glorious day baby Sophie arrived with a smile
but the royal couple had a terrible fright.
Their princess received in an unnervingly state,
brining gloom into the world of endless night.

The queen screamed ‘IT MUST BE A CURSE!’.
The king yelled ‘NO WAY COULD IT HAVE BEEN WORSE!’.
Sophie was covered in sparkling freckles, needless to say
they thought it was outrages and locked her away.

Feeling terribly sorry for having an ugly child,
the queen and king turned to ruling again.
Trying to quickly forget this horrible disaster,
as their daughter remained locked in the dragon Dimitri’s den.

No one was permitted to see the little girl,
turning her sad and filled with fear.
She spent her days bored and all alone
making her freckles one by one disappear.

Although this might have made the royals happy
they could not possibly have known.
Never did they visit their girl whose only companion
was a semi-bad dragon Dimitri serving the crown.

Although he told the princess the tales of the people,
he also plundered other kingdoms and set them on fire.
In the valley too, the lives of the people got worse,
as stars vanished and every night grew more dire.

More horrid news for the kingdom had come
because the stars had decided to leave.
‘This cannot be happening’ moaned the queen,
the king blamed the princess, good grief!

Dimitri reported the accusation to the girl,
who felt even worse than before.
How could she have brought along all this sadness?
She cried ‘What was this happening for?’

That moment under the heavy wooden door
squeezed in a few bright little lights.
Every one shone so fiercely and beautiful,
they were the stars fallen down from the skies.

They had come, they whispered, to help the girl,
make the parents finally understand,
that the birth of Sophie had not been a curse
but more a gift that the stars had sent!

Sophie had been the brightest star of all,
wishing to come down and visit all men.
Her freckles lit up as she remembered her wish,
and Dimitri knocked down the walls of the den.

‘You are the other kind of beautiful’ said the stars,
‘and the truth is that we all carry beauty’.
‘So it is upon us to decide what is fair!’,
so freckled Sophie realised her duty!

Dimitri rushed the princess off to the queen and the king.
To share her wisdom and the light she wanted to bring.
Sophie yelled ‘I CAN SHOW YOU HOW YOUR OWN LIGHT IS LIT!’
She said ‘Everything carries beauty, every last bit.’

Apologising to the star princess they fell to their knees,
recognising what they had done wrong.
Once they opened their eyes, listening with their heart,
they could not wait very long.

The star princess’ tale was spread across the lands,
bringing light to every adult, son and daughter.
Stars travelled back to the skies and the earth lit up,
then the nights were filled with laughter!

The End.

 

 

Fancy having a go at the 'Game of Life'?

Watching the 'Got to Dance' auditions last night while digesting my homemade crumble I LOVED the enthusiasm coming from the judges. Every time a dance crew or single performer came on and smashed their performance they were like children freaking out and having fun. Fooling around, getting on stage and being in the moment.

Yes, I know, it is a show, lots is staged and they get paid for it. But, they seemed to genuinely enjoy themselves and let loose. If it had only been this incident I would not have really started pondering over it and said nothing more than 'They got it right, they are doing what they love doing and getting paid for it'. In the spirit of 2013 thought I picked up a book buried in my draw and flicked over the index. I only read one chapter: The playful Universe. And that was enough, enough to get me mind spinning. In truth with the author Charles Eisenstein this book is actually available for free on the net http://www.panenthea.com/downloads/aoh_text.pdf !!!

Coming back to my personal light bulb moment about fooling around and being playful. Play, in our society is perceived to be situated in the domain of childhood and permitted only in small doses to counterbalance the real learning business. Toys these days need to aid the development of cognitive skills because playing just for the fun of it is not viewed as being 'productive'. For adults it is even worse and we don't get to play much at all. Yet Eisenstein raises some very interesting points regarding the importance of play that were spot on. On page 121 he lets us know why play is so valuable:

Play is not enslaved to a preset end, but allows the end to emerge spontaneously through the process

itself. Play does not require willpower to stay focused and overcome our natural desires; it is natural desire manifest. When we play, we are willing to try things without guarantee of their eventual usefulness or value; yet paradoxically, it is precisely when we let go of such motivations that we produce the things of greatest use.

What he reminded me off was that the game called 'Game of Life' was quiet a good resemblance of the game we are playing now. It is called 'Individualism' where only a few of us are able, like the judges I watched on the show 'Got to Dance', to have fun with what they are doing. The rest of us need to work, keep the economy going etc... and that is why we envy the stars - they got enough money to allow them to 'play' in their spare time. The rest of us are waiting for the dice to roll and see what 'life' has got in store for us. It is an odd game we are playing and we forgot that we are playing it!

This lesson comes to me at a time where I am contemplating whether to do my teacher training (as a  German & French teacher who would have thought) or to build up my portfolio as a self-employed ABA tutor. Or should I just chuck it all in and keep doodling, developing my children's books? The latter is the most desirable option. I am still stuck in a 3D world with my 3D thought, that is why I shall end this entry with much wiser words by Eisenstein and his chapter on the playful Universe:

 

Our present loss of all the characteristics of play—spontaneity, fearlessness, spirit of exploration, creativity, willingness to test limits, non-attachment to results—is itself part of a larger game of individuation. In the currentage, as the dance of separation becomes increasingly intolerable, as crises mount throughout the world, we are beginning to realise that the time has come to stop playing this game and begin another one. The game of “let’s pretend we are discrete, isolated beings in an objective universe” with all that it entails has served its purpose. But now it is time to play a new one.

Your playful Uran Yogi (middle)

 

'You got a third eye right here' I told an 8 year old today

'What the heck are you doing?' I hear a wee freaked out voice rationalising with me, trying to point out that in fact it is not the greatest idea to talk to an eight year old in the medical room of school about his third eye. Somehow I have got to agree, but it was too late, I had said it. We ended up in medical because this boy felt a migraine coming on. He is utterly aware of his body and had pointed out to mum in the morning he was feeling 'a bit white' when he got to school. Over the morning he was a star, which was handy as the school was being Ofsteded and I had my supervision too. It was only before lunch time that he got paler and paler rubbing his forehead.

My supervisor, who knows the boy's behaviour patterns pretty much inside out pointed this out to me and asked him why he thinks this migraine is coming on. He responded 'I've eaten chocolate yesterday'. It is mind boggling that an eight year old boy can tell me a list of things that he 'knows' (he has not been tested for this but just figured it out!) are bad for him and give him a headache. 'You know there is one new chocolate I can have, it has not got caffeine in it' he reveals. It is mad for me to think he has got such an awareness yet is classed as having 'special needs'. While he was covering himself with the blanket in the nurse's room we had a bit of a chat about where it hurts and if he was feeling any better. He then closed his eyes and I figured I could ask in silence permission to give him Reiki and I did.

A few minutes into the short treatment, me humming away, he quietly mumbled 'Thank You'. He still had a headache, but opened his eyes. For the last couple of days I was able to really see him and look far beyond his eyes that hold much more wisdom than one should at the age of 8. At this point it just bubbled out of me. I touched his forehead and shared 'You got a third eye right here... when I first began to use it my head hurt a lot too' (fellow AITH meditators can sympathise!). I continued by telling him that he did not even had to use his other eyes to see with it and with those words I closed my eyes to 'see'. It was at this point my mind screamed 'Are you flipping mad Sarah! This is an EIGHT year old and you are in SCHOOL, shut it!'

But as I opened my eyes he had closed his again. He already knew. He didn't ask me any questions. He did not protest or showed any signs of confusion.

'Autistic' children never cease to amaze me and push me to my personal limits. During lessons his favourite occupation is to predict the behaviour of his tutors, aiming to outwit us. It is true that he might not be terribly aware of social norms, but who needs to do that when you are living in your heart? ;)

Keep the learning coming left, right and centre!

With amazement & bemusement,
Your Urban Yogi

PS: if you fancy finding out more about your third eye: http://www.mysticbanana.com/pineal-gland-our-third-eye-the-biggest-cover-up-in-human-history.html

It's about what you do, not who you are - Thanks Thatcher!

Watching the film 'Iron Lady' was not intended for educational purposes but for light entertainment. It was on Sunday night at 9pm and I had not even intended to finish watching it. Meryl Streep's performance was outstanding thought and I somehow ended up liking Margaret Thatcher. While I am as far from a 'Tori' as I could possibly be (other than my husband lying next to me of course) and do not agree with what she's done to the education system nor can I identify with her believes, I have a new found admiration for her determination and convictions.

See, I do not like arguments anymore, most of the time I remain quite rather than speak my mind, yet I burst into heated arguments with loved ones (usually reserved for the ones nearest and dearest to me) and beat myself up afterwards for doing it. One line of the film stuck with me 'These days it is about who you are, not about what you do anymore - this is wrong' (paraphrased). What good is it trying to be a person living in the heart in theory, calling myself an Urban Yogi if my actions do not match? I realised my journey is not about the words I say necessarily but it needs to be about my actions. Putting myself out there and giving it my best shot. Margaret Thatcher thought it was her 'DUTY' to make a difference in the lives of people. She asked herself what good is a life if you do not make it count.

Indeed she was right. I reckon her heart was in the right place, but when we take actions led by our egos and logic we will not find the best solution for all but always only for the few. However, what Maggie did was to stand up and try to make a difference. I do not feel I want to be as loud and hard as she was but I nonetheless am inspired to follow my convictions. Thus 2013 I plan to DO and hold my heart open, imagining a world where we care for each other, take care of the planet and do what is best for all of us.

Ready to dream and do 'important things' in the morning,
Your Urban Yogi

Exercise and Me, a love-hate relationship

I accept 2013 appears to be a massive learning year for me. Once you begin to slow down and notice things around you there are plenty of opportunities to observe and learn from rather than to respond to. Yesterday I literally sat back and listened to a fantastically beautiful, natural, caring and clever woman telling me that despite her looking A star she can still find flaws with herself. 'It is about toning up' she tells me, because she knows she is not fat in the slightest and she just desires to feel happier with herself.

It was a slap in the face for me. The urge to respond and tell her she is perfect the way she is simmered inside of me - and yes, I did chip in a little and said she didn't have to lose any inches AT ALL. Instead of trying to argue and get the message through to her I decided to accept that I pretty much know this talk. I do it to myself fairly frequently and as the end of my 'time out' from bootcamp approaches it dawns on me how quickly I tend to get sucked into this way of thinking. 'I just want to tone up a bit', yet if I tone up a bit there are still those Giselle Buendchen's and Miranda Kerr's out there who are FLAWLESS (at least in my media distorted view of a perfect female body) and remind me that unless I get a new body I will NEVER look like them.

Does that mean I will NEVER look perfect? Perhaps I will never look like them, but that is not what exercising and eating well ought to be about. When I start finding the flaws on my body and wanting to 'correct' them all I do is not accepting what is. As long as I am running (or burpeeing or planking) after an illusion how can I EVER feel happy? Why can't I feel happy now and do the exercise for fun? The aim I set myself for 2013 is to do the exercise because I enjoy the feel of getting sweaty, being outdoors and having a banter with the group! Luckily Chris Hipsey(http://www.planbfitnesscamps.com/) is quite moderate in his thinking for a personal trainer and fun too, yet there is somewhat a pressure for him to show results. The best result is though that we are smiling and laughing and joking around as well as getting fit.

I am fed up listening to others and myself freaking out over eating cheese or indeed arch enemy No 1 of a superslim physique - chocolate. I get it, it is not great for my body when I eat it. But actually it is much much much worse for me to beat myself up over having some every now and then (and a lot of it if I am having a stressful time - I know now that when I do stuff my face with chocolate that I am in desperate need for down time and it is a way my body tells me to slow down and fast!).

With that thought I begin my '19-day-drop' exercise regime, leaving out the mega-strict food plan that makes me paranoid of eating, trying to ENJOY the 19 days of exercising hard without dropping weight but having fun with it!

Ready for burpees, press up's and renegate rows,
Your Urban Yogi

by Phil Clegg