...BUT I want it the easy way, and I want it right NOW!

This has been a hard week of struggles - with January fatigue, with tricky decisions, with headaches, with old patterns that I desperately want to resolve and missing my heart family; A LOT.

Apparently it is through struggle that we grow and change. Struggle seems to be essential in reaching a higher state of consciousness... BUT I want it the easy way! And more importantly I want it NOW. I am truly fed up feeling that I am bloated, tired, agitated and miserable. What the heck is going on? I hear from a dear heart friend she has been knocked out for the past couple weeks, people around me are sick and I had a stomach bug twice in a month.

'It is not fair' to borrow the line a boy I am working with said in tears because he did not get a merit (a silver star sticker!) for his work. I want a star sticker too! I want to simply KNOW what to do and not have to go through this 'struggle' business, PLEASE? Yes, I am moaning. No, I do not feel like an Urban Yogi after this week. The only time of the day I am feeling good is when I am sleeping and meet all the friendly people I miss in my life in my dreams. Aaaahhh... it is such a lovely feeling slowly waking up and still being in the half-awake state of being before the material world hits me.

It is my own fault though. I signed up for more Imagery sessions and those sessions really have it in them. It was an EASY exercise we were meant to do as homework last week. Stop and think 1 minute before you do XYZ (you decide what it is!)... then you do a quick imaging exercise to redirect the energy generated and use it productively. Damn it. That lil homework was a b*****. Even 'easy' was not 'easy' but had a real punch hidden inside. It triggered some rather old and dusty patterns I do not 'utilise' all that often but if I do it results in me feeling crap... It was time to take that punch - for growth and transformation and GLORY (which the tarot cards kind of said that I picked a minute ago!)

Luckily the long-term outcome according to the tarot is bliss. The immediate future not so much. The card tells me about a little more struggle but promises that it ends in triumph. So all I can do is to keep going I guess and hope for some more 'pleasant' learning experiences in later 2013.


Yawn and off to bed,
Your deflated Urban Yogi

 on a better day.